It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
