no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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