so that wasnt chicken after all
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
