OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize