adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
