Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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