I wish I only lived at night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
