Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
