as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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