i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
