so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
