3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
