In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
