I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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