yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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