i don't like sucking hair
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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