You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
