I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
