..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
