Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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