I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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