I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
