farters have to be the big spoon...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
