He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
