sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
