Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
