S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
