you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
