i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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