My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
