I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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