he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
