4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
