make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
