the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
