Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
