I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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