Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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