Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
