Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
