Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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