Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
