She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
