My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
