the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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