He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
operation harelip BJ is a go
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
