chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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