Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
