glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
