he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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